http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pxlQ_4T5ts



its from Mamma Mia!!! And i olnly watched the movie lately its REALY SUPER lame but...i liked it!

Written @ 10:06 PM

i am writing because Shriley said to....lol
Well ok, as you know many a things have been up shit creek lately and noone has a paddle, or even can affprt to chizzle one out of a nearby tree. So, weve all been shit, the other night, the full moon (so i was told) is going to make everything better again! The moods have changed, so im hoping to become more positive now!
I have a cold booo!!!! but i wont let that get me down!
I am single and free *a breath of fresh air has sweapt me up onto this platform to see the world from SO MANY different angles.
Im am experiencing so much of life and im thankful that i am SO lucky!
And when the night is as beautiful as if was last night i cant help but fall in love with the world all over again :)

Written @ 9:48 PM

Ive beendoing the wrong thing, I never usualy do beause i like to do the right thing, and think i am a good person.
Lately this is not how its going. Im thinking maybe ill fit in better if im like others and actually take chances, whether it be the wrong or right thing to do.

The choices im making right now, yeah, i would say it has somthing to do with a particular person doing a particulr thing where he stabbed me in the heart and ripped it out threw it on the floor and stompedon it untill it had completely stopped beating then fed it though a paper shredder.
Yeah what a description. T hats what happened.
Do i hate him? I dont like him thats for sure, but right now im kind of feeling numb, i am sure thats bad but right now i think id rather feel numb than anything else.

Some people feel (i think) like they dont want to talk about it because im touchy about it, but i need them to bring it up becuase they havent realy said much and it hurts cause it feels like they dont care, when i know they do, but i need to see it! I relay want to get away......where? i dunnoWho with?? i dunno, 5 week ago if you asked me that i wouldve had a question.

I want to swear but noone i hang with does, i want to scream , but everyone can hear......ok a bit too deep now...im scaring myelf... noones going to read this...it just gives me a venting area.

The thing im doing thats wrong? Its nothing big.... dont panic....just a little somthing in a way it doesnt feel w rong and then my concence gets the better of me and is like "what are you doing the old me wouldnt do that!!" and im like shuttup it makes me feel....well somthing... so its got to be good. But i know its not. Sick of this SHIT!

Ive been acting SO HAPPY its rediculous, this is the...one of the hardest pieces of shit ive gone through and i cant seem to feel anything WHATS WRONG WITH ME.....its like when a particular somone died in my life...i...couldnt feel, i couldnt hurt why??? i dont know...is there somthing wrong with me? Ive had 3 people die...... why isnt it affecting me the way it should, i want to cry then i force myself and then ......its being fake, i think im shielding myself and i can never let anyone in to my heart cause they will dissapoint me.......is there anyone who wont disapoint me.....im serching.... i thought i had my sould mate but.....they disapointed me i need to searchagain. Maybe i need to find me first. Do i need to travel to do this? maybe.... whre would i go? its so dangerous for a girl to travel alone.....i need somone i can picture them..... its a guy for some reason maybe cause i dont have a good guy friend i can be dependent on. One that is close to me who i can go to. One that will never disapoint me. That i can laugh with...i had that once.....the dickhead just pissed off.

I think....Empty spaces fill where i once felt.

Labels: danielle ivison, emotions, heartbreak, sad

Written @ 9:52 PM

Hello! Im back i bet NOONE will actually look at this so its short and sweet.

*Been realy creative lately
*i wonder why
*maybe its beause somone spat on me
*and broke my heart into pieces
*left it shattered on the cold ground
*your emotionless
*painfully
*ill get back up
*on my feet
*start again
*with somone better

Written @ 12:01 AM

ive decided i might as well write a blog in vietnam its so different here the people stare at you a you walk down the street or the little kids will smile and wave. Either way its different.
The motor bikes...oh the motorbikes there are many absolutely everywhere! we got stuck on foot just walking down the road there was a traffic jame of cars bikes and people.
We are waiting for the ladies to come back so we can go get our tailored shoes and jackets.
oh here they are.....

well we leave tomorrow

Written @ 4:36 PM

Feeling a little better lately, i cant wait untill spring it'll be lovely, i hopefully will start to get fit and not constantly eat crap all the time! i want to join Karate again , im going to search for a class. Or maybe Tennis even though i suck at coordinating myself. Next yr i am concentrating on paid work for makeup. :) Cause the work im doing now isnt paid, im at least asking for a kit fee, no more free work! HOORAH xx

Written @ 12:50 PM

Well the first of august today...

well done, ive made it through over half the year! Yew! go me, and what a slightly dramatic year! woo! i wouldnt want one the same next year thats all i can say. But i can tell you what i would like! id like to be happy, but not boringly happy, with a few challenges here and there.

I'd like to make more intersting friends like i have been doing, by mid next year i would love to be working full time in makeup (but i dont know if thats realistic!) but i am trying to get out there at the ,moment, doing alright but not getting paid. I would like to be with my partner. very much in love.

Id like to stay in contact with my good friends! And still have outings with them. Id like to be more responsible, independant, aand money wise, seems im going to china next year i will not even have a dollar to spend! :S I would love to love and be loved. I want to be organised and happy all the time and fun! i dont want to experience jelousy at all! and be a free spirit!

There thats all of it that i can think of do you think i can reach it?

Written @ 11:56 AM

Lets start with AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....thats better i feel like being a little more creative and carefree with this one you hear? ok well, i am going to write this in a scripted form just because... ok so me and a therapist....

Doc: So danni how are you feeling right now?

Me: Well my stomach is squirming, and im not getting along with a few people, so i guess you could say a little uneasy...

Doc: I see.. Whats wrong with your stomach?

Me: a Family friend rekkons its a kidney infection, shes an ex nurse so she knows things...

Doc: ok well have you gone to the doctors to find out?

Me: i have many a time, but they cant figure it out, ive had two blood tests and been to the specialist a CAT scan and this is about the 6th time ive gone to the doctors tomorrow.. its a follow up...im giving her my xrays and she'll tell me if im dying or whatever.

Doc..Uhh Ok then doesn't sound like any fun.

Me: Not particularly.

Doc: So what about this friends situation?

Me: well... ive being having disagreements with one of my friends and weve been friends for a while now and used to be realy close.

Doc: and your not anymore?

Me: it's hard to say... im feeling more distant lately, its because of what they said to me which hurt and i dont think i can ever let it go.

Doc: i see do you want to talk about it?

Me: not realy.

Doc Thats fine, Now Danielle have you any near future plans that might be stressing you out?

Me: Well i guess life plans if general stress me and get to me, like marridge and kids and owning a house haveing a life realy, its starting to happen...i dont mean those things in particular, but i mean lif... life is starting to happen its like all these years ive been sleeping in and now its finally time to wake up and get up and i want to press the snooze button.

Doc: interesting analogy.

Me: Thanks, but its true...i think alot of people are felling this way..

Doc: I'm sure there are, but your only human you may feel this way but your going to have to wake up. Yes life is happening and if you don't deal with it now then it'll pass you by, there isn't any second chances you know. Alot of people say this and don't act on it! you have to really live your life as full as you can, have you any goals?

ME: I didn't think i had any and it depressed me for a while, when i was cleaning my room one day when i found a folded paper, i looked at it, it had my "to do " in life list, it was all the things i wanted to achieve in my lifetime, it made me so much happier that i do actually have some goals in life! i never knew what a difference it would make.

Doc: Thats very mature of you Danielle

Me: thanks.

Doc: our sessions up. Anything you want to ask me?

Me: nope, oh maybe one thing...Whats a pocket rocket?


END

Written @ 8:12 PM